Mood = Pre-depression state

Today, Qi passed me my belated birthday card with all the wishes that all classmates and Mel they all wrote... When I read their messages, I feel very happy that I am not alone.. at least there's someone here for me... But after some time, I start to think.. will they continue to be by my side forever? Like what others usually says 'friends forever'...

I again wonder... one can have so many friends.. but which few really understand you? When I think of this, I really feel sad.. Everytime when I talk to others, I will talk to them about the stuff they know.. but in reality, who actually talk to me about the topics I know? Maybe you may say I only know about anime.. so since you dont know about anime, I cant possibly talk to you...

Frankly speaking, I think this is the truth around me.. they treat me like friends... but somehow I feel that my circle of life only has me in it... I cant seem to find anyone who is in my circle... I think I am beginning to lock myself up... I really dont know what to do... *crys*

I really feel that I maybe destined to be lonely... somehow i wish that there is someone beside me now and listen me out... But now everyone is preparing for promos... where to find such pple around?

Maybe i should continue to hide myself behind the mask I am always wearing and continue with my miserable life...i sometimes ask myself: "what's use of having many many friends when none understand me at all?"

Maybe i am entering depression state again... after all those times i tried to get myself out... i sometimes wish that i wasnt that sensitive.. i get depressed at the slightest things... haiz.. i always become like that when someone near me talk without using their brains...

I really want someone whom I can talk freely to........... *crys*