Mood = Sad

Sometimes.. I find myself rather lost in this world.. I dont really know what to say... when I am with this bunch of pple, I try to "match" myself to them.. meaning I try to be in the same frequency as them... whenIi am with anothe bunch, I sort of change frequency to "match" them... I am not sure why am i doing such things.. is it because I am afraid that if I am of different frequency, these pple will desert me? or because of other reasons?

Sometimes.. I tried to convince myself that I have to like the things that the pple around me like no matter how disgusted I am with the thing... but am I doing the correct thing? arent me just flowing with the current?

Sometimes.. I ask myself... is it neccessary for me to like those things? i tried to accept those things so as to "match" them.. but in reality.. who do things to "match" me? The answer is an obvious no.. since I know the answer is no.. why do I still continue to do this?

Sometimes.. I really hate this type of me... but I ask myself? what type of me? is it the me who is weak? or dont have my own stand? or being over sensitive? or being too imaginative? or not being myself? I am starting to suspect myself.. am I still myself?

Sometimes.. I wonder if is it because I am alone so I will think of such things? But being alone makes me think of these things... I will start to think.. are the things around me really what I see them as? Or are they just a piece of my imagination in my dreams?

Sometimes.. I begin to wonder... am I living for the sake of myself or for other pple? The answer is getting more and more distant.. I dont really know what I am doing now... is there any way to bring myself closer to the answer?

Sometimes.. I feel that some pple around me are really fakers.. But come to think of it, am I also one of those fakers? I too change frequency according to the type of pple I mix with... I wonder when will I be myself? Or will I ever be myself again? But the ultimate question is "what is the true me?"

*crys*